So we've somehow returned to the song Obsess by Aliey:S, and do you know what this means? Yes this means I'm scared again.
I'm sorry to add more negativity to the internet, but
really, is there something else that I should have done instead?
Or, is there something I should be doing right now? In these past wretched years I have not been known for being the person who knew what to do.
I can't stop blaming myself for it. It doesn't make any sense to do that, right, I know and I've always known. But it's always there and I can't change it no matter how I wish to. In the end, everything melts away. I'm not enough to change it.
I just want to change something.
I've tried, I promise I've tried.
For someone who used to write the world away, I turned out to be really damn awful with words.
And for someone whose emotions are the only strong thing existing, I turned out to be really damn awful with them too.
It gets familiar after a while, to some degree.
Everyone wishes they could do something about the things they couldn't change, right?
(Like this question I was asked: what is music anymore for us? How has it become the catalyst for our own self-loathing?)
I find it beyond ironic that I can't reach anyone.
And if I ever did, in some time, in some past--it's not here anymore, is it, now?
Why does it scare me so much?
If it's like this right now, the heat index will just keep rising.
I am even more powerless than I used to be.
I wonder when it's gonna end.
I don't think it's ever going to end.
Man, these records really shouldn't be this frequent.