did you realize it yet
dancing. are you not scared? i'd be scared, i'd be terrified
something is inconsistent about all of this. something hasn't carried over since it began.
i quill together paper flowers, i wait by the window watching for snow, for sleet?
did you realize it yet
i think i realized it
you know, if i were a sin i'd be gluttony
i'm not scared at all, i swear! i'm not scared of you, i'm not scared of anyone! i'm not scared of any of this!
but "not even the things you fixed can save you!"
i guess that's right, isn't it?
if some sort of tragedy existed, what would i do then?
would i dismiss this all as child's play?
when will i really become a grown-up?
not even the things i spoke can save any of this,
strategies don't exist in a gravely inoptimized world,
i think, sleeping on a bus.
maybe that's why i'm doing all of this.
i sure can't dismiss the original intent.
but i also can't see beyond it.
if it's something like a prayer,
my hands are already burnt beyond recognition.
oh, the shame! oh, the shame of telling the truth!
oh, the shame! oh, the desperation! oh, you who never really escaped!
oh, you who desires an entire universe to yourself because someone ate the one inside your heart!
oh, the shame! oh, the pity! oh, the collapse!
oh, the world which freezes at midnight!
oh, the look inside your eyes which i could never quite decipher!
oh, the existence of such a thing which exists for everyone!
the human pursuit of knowledge
goes against the fear of everything i've had since i was a child.
collision theory goes like this:
THAT'S WHY I WAS GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING!!
i swear i'm going to fix everything, but first, why don't i indulge in this?
...feels awful, doesn't it?
i think, if i could pin it all on someone, it'd be your fault!
it's definitely your fault!
something looking like indigo smells sickening, smells rotten
it's all getting too complicated, i don't think i could understand it.
i couldn't put it into words.
i think, if i could put it somewhere, i'd put it in a tiny terrarium.
somewhere with absolute perfection.
something that lasts forever, but eternity isn't a thing, is it?
if i could put it somewhere, i'd erase the curse
and i wouldn't ever be scared again
i don't ever want to feel scared ever again!
i'd play music forever
and nothing would ever scare me again
and you would never be able to scare me again
i'm such a child
i promise i'm not losing my mind
i'm simply waiting for it to snow